Bargains to Boot!

At some ghastly and totally uncalled for hour for a Saturday morning, I was hauled from my delicate slumbers by my mobile phone warbling away on the bedside table.  It was Lovely Man texting me to say that he was on his way home from work and "did I fancy going booting?!"  Well - that's one of only two things that will get me up early on a Saturday, the other one being Howard Donald dancing naked on my lawn.    I don't mind a good boot sale.  The one we go to is quite local and just the other side of the fields at the back of the house so quite convenient really.  The wonderful sunshine had enticed the booters out of their beds and the field was absolutely packed with sellers.

As well as the potential for spotting a good old bargain, 'boots' are also great places for some hilarious character observations. I'm an avid people watcher so was in my element being nosey whilst wandering up and down the aisles, keeping a weather eye out for a bargaintastic item or two on the way.  

Today's observations:-

A pondering

Why on earth do people take dogs to car boot sales?  Eh?  Eh??  WHY??  Regular readers of my blog will know that I'm a dog-lover and we're currently looking for a pup of our own, but I can't understand why you would want to drag yer pooch around crowded aisles, particularly in the case of today, in blazing heat.  Twice today I've nearly tripped over dog leads as owners were browsing the stalls and bored doggie was trying to mooch off in the opposite direction.   No need.  Grrr.  Quite frankly. 

Moving on.

A Bit of A Rant

To the people who park on the country lanes rather than paying a small fee to park.  You do my head in!!  If it only costs about 50p for you to park your car in a relatively safe field immediately accessible to the actual traders, surely it's worth paying that simply for the peace of mind that  a) your car ain't going to get clamped for obstructing a public highway, b) you know that if you need to make a quick get away or offload armfuls of heavy bargains your car is just a few metres away and not a three mile hike back down the road c) your beloved vehicle won't run such a risk of getting side swiped by passing traffic because the lane you've parked on is actually only one and a half cars wide at best, d) you're not putting the whole weekly boot sale in jeopardy because the Police will get endless complaints from residents and other road users that the road is becoming impassable due to the volume of parked cars outside the venue.  If you live locally - walk!  You can leave the car on your bliddy drive forgoodnessakes!  If you've taken the trouble to start up your car and used fuel to get there - go mad and spend the extra 50p to unclog the roads.  Sort it out people!

*ouch*.


Fell off me soap box then. 

An I-shouldn't-have-laughed-at-someone else's-misfortune-but-it-really-was-very-funny Incident

Scene 1.

Me, minding my own business, browsing some stupidly overpriced trinkets.

Nicely dressed older lady of very slight build, also minding her own business, bending down looking at baby clothes in a large box.

Sound Effect.

1) A very sudden and rather loud "MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMM" type noise as tiny whirlwind child whizzes past.

2) Loud squeak from nicely dressed older lady followed by collective "Oooooh's " from surrounding supporting cast.

Scene 2

Me - looking in a quizzical manner across in general direction of nicely dressed, slightly built, older lady.  

Nicely dressed, slightly built older lady, rather disconcertingly, on knees with head in said baby clothes box.

Cue lots of people averting gazes and clamping jaws together in bid to prevent bubbles of embarrassed laughter escaping.

Nicely dressed, slightly built, older lady now turning rather interesting shade of purple, shrugging off offers of assistance whilst hauling self to feet.

Small whirlwind child (now strangely quiet) waving large aircraft type toy in face of nicely dressed, slightly built, older lady and stating "LOOK NANNY ISS A PLAYUN!!!"

Nicely dressed, slightly built, older lady glaring at small whirlwind child and in a voice which sounds as though she had gargled broken glass and razor blades for breakfast positively roars in a VERY broad, Black Country accent:  "OLIVER!!! I'LL BLUDDY KILL YER!!".

Fin.

It's very painful trying to swallow a giggle isn't it?

Most Annoying Trader Award

There's a toss up for the award this week.  It's a choice between:-

a)  Imperious and rather sniffy lady of a certain age (who, I am convinced, looked like she would be dousing her hands in antibacterial hand cleanser each time she relieved the great unwashed of their filthy lucre) who had a stall full of ladies' clothes.  One of the items (a beautiful black  heavy cotton crocheted evening style top with a jet bead dropper-beaded hem  ) took my fancy - sounds very formal but I could gothic it up no problem!!!  I asked the price which was £3 - a bit pricey but to be honest it was gorgeous and very worth it.  It looked brand new.  I dared to stroke it a little, ignoring the glares from Imperious Lady before picking it from the rail, then walking to the front of the stall to check out her other wares.

"I've decided that I'm not selling that top now" she flapped, anxiously holding her hand out to retrieve the garment from my clutches.  "I don't know why I bought it with me".  I reluctantly handed it back to her.

I picked up a pair of shoes and asked the price. "ONE POUND FIFTY" she responded, (still imperiously!), and looking me up and down as though  I was something unsavoury on the bottom of her shoe.   "They were VERY expensive.  They're Roland Cartier you know.  Designer".

Grrrr.

Me. Handing over cash.Grinding teeth behind cool smile and shooting daggers from behind my black shades.  "Yes.   I.   Know.  I'm well aware of who Roland Cartier is"  She handed me my change, deigning to flash me a little smile  as she did so. "Ahh a lady who knows a good shoe when she sees one - just like me!" she giggled - positively girlishly.

Me:  Putting the change in my pocket and swinging the shoes disinterestedly on the tips of my fingers.  "Well to be honest they're a bit old fashioned for my tastes.  But I know Roland Cartier sells really well on ebay and that's where these are heading".

I didn't stop to see her reaction.  Snotty old bint!

OR

b)  I was perusing a table full of, what can only be politely described as, random crap, a little later on.  I noticed that each time someone asked the vendor how much something was, he said "That one mate?". I was so tempted to pick something up, ask how much it was, for him to respond "That one mate?" and then go... "nahhh..... not this one mate - that one over there".   mwahahahahahaha.


 Hmm.   I'm going on a bit aren't I?!

Shall I shut up and show you what I bought?

Oh alright then.

THOSE shoes.  They're actually not bad really - I like the check detail on the heel.

A tray of butternut squish plantlets for a squid. 

A Country Living subscription gift - cute liddle bag, gardening gloves, an unopened tube of posh hand cleanser and same of hand barrier cream.  A squid for the lot.

A new to me top for ... yep you guessed it - a squid.

Bubba shoes!!!  Mr B's new grandbabba was born yesterday (Welcome to the world Esme!).  I am (un)officially a pretend Nanny!  So that gives me carte blanche to buy baby shoes!!  How cute are they?!  50p per pair.  Awww!!  (Really must curb my love of baby shoes!  I'm sure it's not right!!)

A cutesome dress/cardy and matching pants baby outfit for £1.50.  Why can't we buy outfits with matching pants? 

Some scrummy craft paints - all you see below came to the princely sum of £2.00.  All new and unopened.

Two big punnets of raspberries and a large punnet of English strawbs - £2 the lot. YUM!!

Best of all though - was making it home BEFORE it began raining hewooge fat sploshy spots of rain - and celebrating the fact with these: (another attempt at the Cola cake worked this time!!)

Happy Out!! 

Have a great weekend!!!!